Saturday, August 9, 2014

Kids say the darnest things.

Kids are funny. Plain and simple. If I had a recorder for all of the hilarious things my kids have said in the past few years, it would be hours long. Sadly, I don't record it all, but here are a few of my favorites.

Mom, I love you. Oh, I love you, too, Molly. And you have the perfect amount of fat. See right here <pinching my stomach>. Cool.
While watching her friend go to the bathroom, Molly shouted, "oh my gosh! We have the same privates!! Wanna see mine, too?" Can you tell she has brothers? Ha!
These quotes were from Brett and are in reference to me nursing Molly, when she was a baby:

 "So, does she just eat breff meal all the time?"
"Why she's eating your body?"
"When she's gonna start talking? When she gets big tomorrow?"

These are quotes from Jake, when Molly was little:

 "I love her so much. Can I marry her?"
"Does your milk taste different on one side?
(Me: "nope") "Well then why's she always gotta eat on both sides?"

And a hilarious conversation we overheard between the two boys...

 B: "Where did Molly come out from when we were at the doctors?"
J: (looking serious)
B: "Oh, I know....her belly!"
J: "No, she came out of her penis."

One of my favorites from when Jake was not quite three. I took him to school with me and we were talking with one of my administrators:
Admin: Gosh, he just gets bigger and bigger every time I see him.
Me: I know, it makes me sad...he's not my baby anymore.
Jake: Don't feel sad anymore mommy, at least I still poop my pants.

While Jake was being potty trained, Adam was changing a poopy diaper. When finished, Jake came out to me and said, "Daddy says I don't get jack if I don't go on the potty!"
Bedtime is always an interesting time for funny quotes. Here are some recents:
Molly came down three times in one night... 1) "I just need to tell you how much I love you. You're my favorite mom. I just wanna cuddle". 2) "I came down here because I forgot where my bed is. Can you show me it?" 3) "This is my LAST time down here. But, I'm only two. How am I gonna sleep without you?"
Only to be followed by her 6 year old brother who needed to ask, "mom...I've been thinking about something I need to ask you. Back in the olden days, did they have to ride horse and buggies to Starbucks? Do you think their drinks would spill?"
Some Molly favorites:
"Oh gosh mom, you look at least 25 today. Poor thing. What can I do to make it better? (Running to grab her stethoscope) Here let me check your heart beep."

"It's true. When I get bigger, I'll finally get a penis."

"Can you please keep your voice quiet while I'm playing over here? You keep interrupting and it's 'boddering' me!"


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